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Kung Fu Testimonial, 2009

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I have submitted this to win the $100 Kung Fu testimonial award at the White Tiger School where I train with vigor.  This is my second submission; the "Kung Fu Granny Testimonial - part I" that I wrote last year did not win.

Kung Fu Granny Testimonial - part II

      I’m a Bulgarian.  I have dark eyes, furry eyebrows, a stern look with a mischievous expression, and a mustache.  Sometimes people think I’m Greek.
      “I’m not Greek,” I corrected Heather when she made the remark one day after our White Tiger Kung Fu class, and I must have given her the look, because a week later she kneeled next to me while I was knotting my sash and apologized.
      “I did not mean to offend you,” she said.
      “You haven’t,” I said, ”How can you offend me?  I like you.”  We laughed and hugged, then bowed to each other ready for class.
      I like everyone in my White Tiger Kung Fu School; I love everybody.  It is a feeling of warm congeniality surprisingly borne by the practice of Martial Arts – the White Tiger System, to be precise, a system that makes us look better, stronger, more perceptive, and able.  Because we share not just the strenuous exercise – breathing, jumping, kicking, pushing, pulling, and punching with force and alacrity – but also the Qi each one of those White Tiger moves generates.  It is the Qi that helps us see the world in a wiser way and relate to each other with understanding and love.

      Please join us.  You will soon find out.     

      Happy, I look around.  How could you not love this class?

      Next to me, Paul, the tall English boy, snaps a high Tiger Tail kick – to protect the Queen from the Ninja, he laughs.
      Pearl, the Chinese girl, brought us pears (from Asia.)
      Sougata, from India, has a seductive approach, like a secret weapon.  “Don’t kiss the enemies, girl.  Fight them!”  I thought of telling her, but didn’t.
      Brook, our pretty instructor, likes money and believes in perceptions.  She used to boss the class: Smile!  But an order to smile kills the joy in my heart, I complained.  Everyone laughed, and she doesn’t do it anymore.
      Dave, the black belt, is so close to enlightenment that he called me Laurie (she is my best friend), and I used the misstep to promptly blackmail him to teach me a move.
      I sipped tea on the balcony one night and shared with Tom, our highest-ranking black sash an unbearably overwhelming Qi experience that had flummoxed my head off that morning.  He saved my mind.
      Our other black sash, Wise-man Kevin professed: “Knowledge is worthless, unless you use it.”  That got me thinking.
      Ivan is one stripe ahead of me and will remain in the lead, as I gave him the black ribbon from my Valentine orchids pot, to sew on his belt and save 50 bucks on a promotion.  No, just kidding!

      My love goes to Mathew – Supremcho – who has recently built a muscle mass to match a Superman, but his facial expression is not there yet and remains full of gusto and contagious with fun;
      It also goes to Tea-man Dan, the authentic round face of an Eastern Tradition, sparkling with delight and good humor;
And of course to Sifu, whom I miss enormously with a high school anguish every time he disappears away on a trip;
      To Corson too, who has been my all time favorite (because he taught me the Dragon stance) despite having stood me up for my last free lesson.  (He did call to cancel.)
      Did I mention Noris, The King of Precision?  If he teaches you a move, you have got it right for a lifetime.

      Come and see for yourself!

      I dedicate this testimonial to Marge, who inspired it and who has the most handsome husband Jack, The Marine, (blue sash, four stripes) and two magnificent boys half his size (blue sashes, two stripes).  They are her inspiration and leave her enough time to practice Kung Fu sometimes on Thursdays;
      And to Heather whose health has improved so much since she had joined the school that she too brought in her family, but not all of them because there was not the right size Kung Fu outfit for the baby;
      And to my best Bulgarian friend Marina, not part of the school yet who enlightened me as to the price of friendship, to be avoided.

      With thanks to Heather who made me feel magnanimous today as our creed requires.

      Come in for a sample of Qi!      

      Naturally, I am looking for more Bulgarians!
                                                                                             Kung Fu Baba Elissaveta



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